In case you're wondering

...An Academy Award really is a bit on the heavy side.  It's not like you want someone to go, "Hey, catch!" (unless you're prepared to experience serious bodily harm).   If nothing else, they must make excellent dumbbells.  I suspect my relative lack of upper-body strength disqualifies me from winning an Oscar at any time in the future--too much danger of my dropping the thing during the telecast (and you know how embarrassing that would be).  Someone needs to do a survey of Oscar-nominated performers' gym attendance in the weeks leading up to the ceremony.  

(No, I didn't win an Academy Award.  Yes, I did get to hold one this afternoon.)