Scene of instruction, feline edition

THE SITUATION: Disraeli, one of my two fourteen-year-old cats, has developed arthritis in one hip.

THE CRISIS: His "ritual" for climbing onto my lap when I'm at my desk involves jumping to the arm of my office chair, then stepping down.  Unfortunately, the whole "jumping to the arm of my office chair" bit is no longer working quite so well.

MY SOLUTION: I moved the footrest to give him a "step" up to the arm.  This should work, right? Right?

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED:

DISRAELI: *contemplates arm of my office chair while ignoring the footrest*

ME: No, you jump on the footrest first.  The footrest.  *taps footrest*

DISRAELI: *attempts leap to chair arm, misses, and grabs on to the nearest thing to steady himself--unfortunately, this is me*

ME: *utters words that cannot be repeated here because I am sweet and innocent and unacquainted with such language*

DISRAELI: *slinks off in feline shame*

Some time later...

DISRAELI: *contemplates arm of my office chair while ignoring the footrest*

ME: AAAGGGH.  No, you jump on the footrest first, you nitwit.  The footrest.  *taps footrest*

DISRAELI: *tries to jump, cancels operation in midstream*

ME: Look, cat, just climb up on this thing that is right next to you.  *taps footrest*

DISRAELI: *contemplates arm of my office chair while ignoring the footrest*

ME: I don't need more holes in my leg! *taps footrest with greater urgency*

DISRAELI: *notices footrest; ponders situation; climbs on footrest, up to chair arm, and onto target destination*

ME: All those years in graduate school for this, eh?