Live blog, Alton Park: Day IV

No doubt my readers were sure that I had finally been defeated by the Novel from the Deep, but no.  Household issues merely got in the way.  But now, we return.  Valiantly.

3:12 PM: We now discuss the morality of speaking vs. silence, something that I'm sure is weighing on the mind of many during this campaign season.

3:13 PM: "Wow, it's always so much fun to hear mom going about this stuff!" The reader grumbles something untoward under her breath.

3:16 PM: In case you were wondering, the sole purpose of this Protestant character is to elicit yet more explanations about Catholic holidays &c.

3:18 PM: I just now realized what the "conversation" genre remind me of: a Passover seder! "Why do we X on all other nights...?"

3:26 PM: Now for a debate on whether or not sermons should be interesting, as opposed to "improving."

3:29 PM: Should we refrain from offending Protestants when preaching? Nah, go for it.

3:31 PM: Frances, still a jerk.

3:34 PM: AMIABLE VS. PREDATOR

3:37 PM: Transubstantiation, anyone?

4:26 PM: Sorry for the lengthy interruption--I had to do an emergency run for fabric glue.

I have come to believe that the cat-owner's memento mori should be, not a skull, but destroyed furniture.

Anyway.

4:32 PM: Those Protestants, always sinning and stuff...

4:38 PM: "So, remember that servant we haven't mentioned in a couple hundred pages? Everyone misses him terribly now that he's dead."

4:52 PM: I'm having a really had time believing that a Victorian Protestant would never have heard of extreme unction, even in an anti-Catholic sort of way.

4:54 PM: I imagine most teenagers would appreciate a regime of four hours of instruction per day.

4:56 PM: ALONE IN THE AMIABLE

5:13 PM: We have been enumerating every single holiday, in case you were wondering.

5:14 PM: Interfaith marriages? NOPE NOPE NOPE.

5:16 PM: A Protestant contracting a May-December marriage? (The bride is 16.)  

5:19 PM: ATTACK OF THE GIANT AMIABLE 

5:21 PM: Ladies, if you just submit to your husband entirely, no matter how terrible he is, he'll reform. 

5:23 PM: The novel now introduces the possibility of a potential son-in-law for the Altons, although the character has never before appeared.  

5:24 PM: Wow, they've even decided which daughter he's going to marry.   

5:26 PM: Grand tour ahoy!

5:27 PM: But first, note that the Altons have made a little Catholic utopia.  

5:29 PM: So, the parents took off and left the youngest daughter with the governess.  For two years?!

I do believe that I'm almost done with this book.  Excuse me for a moment while I perform a celebratory dance.

Moving on.

5:33 PM: Double marriage! Woo-hoo!

5:33 PM: Frances, meanwhile, becomes a nun.  Then again, given the representation of her character, she was either going to die horribly or join a convent.  

5:35 PM: "The author is doubtful whether her feeble efforts to blend amusement with instruction will produce the desired result..."  Ha.  HA.  HA HA HA.

I'm calm now.

And we're finished!